i am a happy girl now. it's crazy, but i am smiling a lot more, and just a much more cheerful person. everything that has happened in the past few months has made me a much stronger person, and i have learned a lot. i have also found happiness within myself.
last thursday was the beginning... i smiled for the first time in a long time, like a real smile. i was happy. then friday was amazing as well... and the smiles just continued. wow i sound lame. haha. those 2 days were the best i had had in a LONG time.
but i have found things that make me happy and are like "my thing" i guess. i love to paint and draw now, which i do a lot in my free time. drawing and painting makes me happy. i think a lot when i do it, so thats awesome as well. i like to think a lot more now.
the things that make me glad now are different from what used to make me happy. they are no longer shallow or anything like that, they are more real. i am glad for that. i feel a lot better about myself now too.
i have not done anything stupid in the past few weeks, which i am proud of. haha. i think before i do anything now, and let me tell you how much that helps. it does. a lot more than you would think.
i am happy being myself. i am figuring out a lot, and i love that. and i am doing it on my own. i have realized i don't need any person to make me happy. i can be happy on my own. and thats something great, that i have never thought i could do. i mean yeah it helps but i don't depend on anyone except myself for my happiness, which is how it should be.
I am not going to lie though. i am not happy 24/7. I still get sad & angry & confused, like everyone else. but in general i am just happier. i feel like i have accomplished a lot though, and i am proud of myself for it.
so yep. i am happy. =)